Drummer asked my why am i still on fetlife if i’m out of the lifestyle. Well, im on there for Kaya of course. And i was thinking of the reasons. Well, there is no TRUE doms around here. At least that i know, or have met. And the whole “training your boyfriend to be your dom” thing i’m just not doing anymore. Seem stupid to me, and frustrating. You wanna learn to be a dom, do it the same way i learned to be a sub, study. Dont make me study and give you the cliff notes. Subs are not teachers, thank ya a vurry much. But i found this on fetlife and learned after the first 20 things i am in no way cut out for this shit anymore. to stubbern. So, here is the thing i found, with my thoughts in bold.
1. Have her wear slave bells. The constant soft jingling of the bells is soothing and a certain reminder of her submission. Well that would be annoying.
2. When she has broken a rule, talk to her as You punish….and make her speak in detail about why what she did was wrong. Ok, that’s kinda hot.
3. Make her take her shoes off every day as soon as she enters Your house. Fuck that, this is my house, bitch, you take YOUR shoes off.
4. A beautiful, special collar will make any slave joyous. Take the time to select the right one, and have her wear it as often as possible. Ok, yeah, I’d like that.
5. Have her call You each day at a specified time, no excuses. Ya see, with our work times and everything that wouldn’t work, couldn’t do it, nope.
6. Give her anklets and tell her she must wear one of them every day, no excuses. Good lucking finding some that would fit.
7. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have her kneel before You and ask to accompany You upon the furniture. Ha, fuck that.
8. Choose her hairstyle and go with her to get it cut to Your specifications. No, i’m gonna pick YOUR hair style, and cut your hair, myself.
9. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have her display herself whenever You come into the room…..legs spread, shirt unbuttoned. No matter what position You take, she is to be sure Your view is unobstructed Ha, um, no, not gonna do that. Nope,
10. When around the kids or vanilla friends/family, make sure she has an alternative title for You besides Master…..such as “my Love” etc. I say babe all the time anyways.
11. Use her sexually in a rough, selfish way when You feel like it….interrupting whatever she was doing. Yes please! That wouldn’t be so bad right about now.
12. Chose a food that she dislikes and have her eat a small portion every day for a week. Fuck you, you eat it.
13. Have her crawl to bed each night. Fuck you, my knees hurt, you crawl to my bed.
14. Bring her a stuffed animal each time You go out of town. Every. Single. Time.
15. Choose her clothing each day. Ha, try it, i dare you.
16. Have her get Your daily wardrobe ready for You the night before….laid out, ironed etc. Only way i’d use a hot iron would be on your face.
17. After punishment, have her kiss Your boots and thank You for loving her enough to correct her. I’d kiss your dick, but…… that’d be it.
18. Have her bring a warm towel and wash and massage Your feet each day after work. Fuck that, where’s my warm towel and foot rub???
19. Get her tattooed (Your choice of art and location). Eh, whats one more.
20. Get her pierced (or preferably if You are trained, do it Yourself). Sure.
21. Get her branded. FUCK NO. Nope, fuck off, nope, not gonna happen.
22. Respect, but push her limits. Ha, try it, i dare you.
23. Ask her each night what she did that day that You would not have approved of.grin This gets her in the habit of being completely honest, and also makes her conscious of the things she could do better each day. Now, i would actually like to do that.
24. Teach her exactly how You want her to kneel, and demand perfection. And prepare for a kick to the balls.
25. Reward her by allowing her to please You sexually. No, let me reward YOU by letting You please ME.
26. Supervise her workout routine. Fuck you.
27. Each night she is to kneel next to the bed asking permission to sleep with her Master, and each night she does, she is to kneel by the bed in the morning and thank her Master for the privilege. How bout you sleep on the couch tonight, hum?
28. Have her polish Your boots weekly, on her knees at Your feet. Ha.
29. Negotiate until you are both comfortable with the terms and then sign a contract. Eh, if i ever had that, not a bad plan.
30. Giver her a writing assignment: “The definition of Pain – 1000 words” This, this in pain, right now. Oh look, twelve words, right now.
31. Have her keep a diary of her journey into submission. OOOOH! I love to blog!
32. Instruct her that she may never get herself something to eat or drink in Your presence without first asking You if You want something. Isn;t that just manners?
33. Some evenings, keep her on a leash and take her with You no matter what You do….even if You do not speak to her or include her in Your activities. Ha, i’m just gonna stay home, or go out and do my own thing, have fun with that.
34. When appropriate, she is to speak when spoken to. OH! OH YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!
35. Reward her by giving her delicious pleasure. Ok.
36. On occasion, share her. Fuck you, you fucking ass. And if you want to “share” anything share your ass all the way to the street.
37. When it suits You, instruct her not to make eye contact with You without Your command. Staring contest.
38. Have her keep her body clean shaven at all times. Do that anyways.
39. Conduct random inspections of her body to make sure she keeps herself to Your specifications. Sounds like it could be fun.
40. Make her wear a butt-plug under her clothes whenever she goes out alone. Fuck you.
41. For transgressions: have her write Your name on the bottom of her foot and tell her to remember she is walking on You with each step. (This is harder to do that You might think….) Wtf?
42. Master the art of the meaningful piercing stare…..Mine’s better.
43. Give her reading assignments. Ok?
44. Test her on the reading assignments, to make sure she learned the appropriate lessons from each. How bout some of these wannadoms do this shit.
45. Instruct her to keep her toenails painted perfectly everyday, and check to see that they are before bed O….k……?
46. Make it her responsibility to put the toys away after play and punishment, and to keep them clean and neat. Mutual task
47. Reward her by letting her name her favorite scene, toys, etc. Do it anyways.
48. Call her Your slut, Your pet, etc. Some names are ok, but slut or anything worse, nope.
49. Have her make a list of the 10 things that make her the most self-conscious, uncomfortable or embarrassed. Fuck you
50. Work with her, having her do the things on the list (if possible), so that she conquers those fears and hesitations. Ok, maybe not so bad.
51. Sometimes, pamper her…..wash her body and hair, having her remain perfectly still as You turn her and move her about. Ok, now that does sound kinda fun.
52. Hand feed her like a small child on occasion. Wtf? um, no thanks.
53. Have her eat from a dog bowl on occasion. How bout you eat off the ground, outside, in the rain.
54. For transgressions: make her wear a sign to the next public function naming her crime. (ouch) Sorry, but that just sounds stupid to me.
55. Praise her dedication when she has pleased You well. Well, that always works.
56. Instruct her that she is never to touch Your body without permission. As i pinch your nipples and bite your arm.
57. Have her write a meditation about her submission, devotion and trust in You….to be said aloud each night before falling asleep. Again stupid and a bit obsessive.
58. Some days allow her no clothing whatsoever (when practical). Nope, no one wants to see any of this.
59. For transgressions: deny her play. No pain for you, bad girl….hehehe. Do that and i’ll smack ya.
60. In the same ilk, For transgressions: deny her orgasm…..give her sex, but she can’t cum. Ok, that has always been a little fun for me.
61. For transgressions: Command that she is to be silent for a week. She may not speak, and will take whatever pain or pleasure You give as silently as possible. HA! I wouldn’t last five minutes.
62. Treat her like a pet in front of friends, making her present herself, turn herself, etc. Then i could show our friends how whipped you are.
63. Giver her a writing assignment: “The definition of Obedience – 1000 words” Fuck off.
64. Have her wear a toe ring. ……… Why?
65. Tell her one morning that she must cum for You 15 times that day, and then write about the day. Hell, if the sex is good enough i could cum that much in a hour and a half.
66. Have her wear nipple clamps under her clothing out to dinner. Ooooooooo Kinky.
67. On Your birthday, let her receive Your spankings. But…… he’s older than me……
68. Spend time training her how to move gracefully to please You. I am not a geisha (Ha, i spelled that right!)
69. For transgressions: stand her in the corner like a 3 year old.Have fun in that corner, cuz i ain’t go’n
70. Always flog her after completion of a task, even if it was satisfactory. A well flogged slave is a happy slave.TRUE DAT!
71. Speak about her as if she were not present. Then i’ll speak to other men, as if you’re not present.
72. For transgressions: deny her any D/s at all for a week…..letting her do just as she pleases, not allowing her to serve You in any way, no punishment, no instruction, no play, banning titles of respect, etc. This will shame her and certainly make her strive to please You when it is over and she is in her place again. I really dont have anything to say to this. It’s what i do now, without the striving to please part.
73. Defend her honor to those who would disrespect Your prized possession. HELL YEA BOY!
74. Pet her often. O.O i wasn’t aware i have transformed into a cat.
75. Make her be webMistress for Your huge site, DallasBDSM. hehehehe Had to fit a add in there somewhere didn’t ya?
76. Whenever possible (i.e. no young-uns about), have her sleep in a cage. Fuck you.
77. Buy her sexy or slutty clothes to Your liking. Girl always like new clothes!
78. Teach her things….expand her knowledge…..in a patient Fatherly way. Does it freak you out when i call you “Daddy”?
79. When You are away, call her and have her masturbate for You. Phone sex can be fun, if the guy is good at it.
80. If You choose to play with others, make sure Your slave knows who is first in Your heart…..and that some things are just for her. You play with others? Then you’re not playing with me anymore.
81. Remember her birthday. I think that should be a rule for everyone.
82. Lead her with a loving fist in her hair. Lol, ok. Sometimes.
83. Wake her each morning with an assigned task for the day…..and make sure it is done by day’s end. Now see, i use to like some stuff like this/
84. Teach her patience. Nope, dont have time for that.
85. Videotape Your sessions and watch them together. EW! OMG i hate seeing myself, uhg, that’s just gross.
86. On long trips, have her wear double dildo latex underwear. What is that?
87. Hand feed her chocolate. AW!
88. Have her place her regular wear shoes in a line by the front door. They should be in a straight line with the laces tucked inside, or the buckles buckled. Inspect them periodically. Again, wth?
89. Keep a list of her transgressions in a little book….let her slip for a while…thinking You are not noticing…..then one day, bring out the book and have a day of atonement. Omg, i would so fucking LOVE that!
90. Tickle her just because You can. Then die. your choice.
91. Have her be perfectly still and quiet while You bring her extreme pleasure…..when she moves or makes a sound punish her then return to the pleasure. Lol that is so much fucking fun!!
92. Keep her locked in her collar when You are home. You place it on her…..having her kneel. Wear the key to the lock around Your neck. Eh, not so much into that.
93. When possible, have her cook and serve Your dinner wearing nothing but an apron and collar. Hate to cook, but cutting hair like that is FUN!!
94. Buy her a Polaroid camera and give her assignments to take pictures of herself for You in certain outfits or positions, etc. Or with a cell phone. You know, modern times and everything.
95. Remember to kiss and caress away her tears. If every guy followed that one there would be no divorce.
96. Don’t be afraid to bring her to tears, for they are Yours as well.Depends on how. Say something mean, no, by punishment, hell yes.
97. Take her and the dog to the park, both on leashes. I feel like i say “Fuck off” alot on here.
98. Caress her, whisper into her ear that You love her, nibble on her belly, lick her thighs and make love to her until she cries. I’m crying right now because i want that so bad.
99. Have her fall asleep with Your cock in her mouth and tell her You expect it to be there when You awake. Sorry, i need a minute, my sides hurt from laughing so hard.
100. Occasionally, fulfill her fantasy. That’s helpful.
101. Master’s word is the last word. Before mine, then mine is the last word.
Addendum dum dum duuuummmmmmm
102. Make sure that she is safe at all times….when with You and when You are apart (to the best of Your ability). Keep her vehicle in good working order, make sure she has emergency money and a cell phone to call for help if needed. Every man should do this shit.
103. Be consistent. Well duh!
104. Take the time to talk to her…..learn her fears, her dreams and fantasies. Use Your knowledge. Again D-U-H!!!
105. When You go out of town, forbid her to shave her sex. Shave her Yourself when You return. Ew.
106. Specify exactly how she will address You in private and in public. Oh, you know what i like.
107. If You are willing to correct her each time she forgets until it is a habit, have her refer to herself as “this slave” or “this girl” etc. Well “this girl” is about ready to smack you. have fun.
Hope i didn’t piss anyone off, remember, it’s all in good fun!