I wanna tell my secrets
I know, you’ll keep them, and this is what I’ve done
I’ve been a bad, bad girl for so long
I don’t know how to change what went wrong
Daddy’s little girl when he went away
What did it teach me?
That love leaves, yea, yea
Well my little stems, it has gotten from ok to not so good for the Cherries in just the past couple of days.
My Bubba is empty and i feel like my whole “i can find better than Beast” thing is going horribly. I dont know what i’m feeling right now. My birthday is next week and i know it’s going to suck. it’s like a super bad pms week for me. but instead of fighting of bad mood swings i’ve been getting more and more depressed. i dont want to do anything else other than nothing. things that i was happy about before i just dont give a fuck about. and i’m afraid of being adultly alone. the girls, i love them, but if you use not even a curse word, but just a replacement for one around Rat she yells at you, tells you “dont say that, say chunker munker” gets old after the 24th time. and Brat has a lot of friends around here and if she isn’t allowed to go play with them she’s crying and screaming to go out. so my life with 2 girls is rocky. so yay, my 8 year old doesn’t want to even be in the house and my 2 year old yells at me to not say “dang”. needless to say my home life is not up lifting right now. and i have CC but she has her own kid to yell at. plus some of her problems are getting to me too. and these guys on this stupid site i’m on are as stupid as the site.
one guy hacked my account. all because i never wrote him back, he was states away! like there would have ever been anything. but i know one of the admins on the site, and since said admin wants in my nana he deleted the guy and the guys e-mail went on the block list. so dont mess with me on that site bitch! lol,also i know you ask why dont i just go be with the admin guy, well, we’ve tried. but either i have to cancel on him for baby sitter reasons or we both have things come up. he has never canceled solely on me before though, lol good i guess. but me and him are just ok acquaintances. nothing more. i actually passed him up at the prime chance for Beast. i think i still made the better choice.
well my birthday is Thursday. and i know it’s gonna suck, i think i have a plan for it though. if nothing jumps out and says “hey you’re gonna have a good day” i think i may take about an hour drive and see where i end up. at least i know then i’ll have fun, if only for a couple of hours. CC is suppose to come over, but i don’t know just when or if she can at all around that time.
i’m so sick of feeling this way, i only got about half of the stuff i wanted to get done done today. all because i just couldn’t make my fat ass get up. it rained all day so i couldn’t clean out the van, and i think Rat left a sippy out there, can’t see it right off hand but my van is getting that lovely milk smell, i think it might be under the vary back seat, idk. and idk y but we have alot of clothes in there. i didn’t clean my bathroom the way i wanted to, i got the girl’s bathroom straightened up a little bit though. so that’s ok, got 85% of the laundry done and put away, but l always leave towels in the dryer anyways. i did get the kitchen all cleaned up though, even mopped. so i think i got maybe half way through the cleaning
Vanilla guys ya wanna turn and Domes who think they own you before you even meet them.
This is a mini blog with in a blog. i have had both in the last 2 days. i dont get it. ok, i want a relationship. But all “Doms” that i’ve talked to in the last 2 days think they already own me or i’m a slut that will just fuck them and then thats it. No no no. And vanilla guys they do two things, 1 run, or 2 think i’m a slut and will do a 3 some. um, no. i guess i just must be my own personal brand of sub. I want a mono relationship with a Dom/Master/Daddy typeish guy. i guess that just isn’t out there.
BeastlyCherries2's Blog 