I get into this holiday. Just for the presents though. Hanukkah is midway over and my family just doesn’t get into it much. My mom’s side is Christian and my dad’s side is dead, so there isn’t many dreidel spinning in this house. Plus one of my daughters go to church every Sunday. So yes, i have a tree, and i spend my three paychecks before this holiday buying stuff to put under it. But this year it just seems really i dont know. I love the songs, the lights, i like the lights a lot, and the smells. But since my own religion was kinda bypassed again this year, i just ain’t getting the feel for what everyone else is in such an uproar about.
I’m a sour Jew. lol. Also, i have pretty much been told my own religion would not be honored at critical times in my life. Much less every year.
I dont know. i am sour at the christian religion as a whole right now. it has it’s two faced grip on my holiday, my boyfriend, and a future wedding.
I was told that if a marriage would ever commence between us i would not get my traditional Jewish wedding that i have had no other chance to get. Due to my ex husbands also close minded idiot family. That a christian preacher would intrude on my Rabbi and i should not expect people of his close minded christian family to wear yamakas.
And tonight Bugs got mad about me hating god, at least the christian version. i have two very good reasons why to do so. Bugs started to ask me to go a week asking HIS god to show me a sign that he was there. I use to go to christian church, a lot. and the first time i asked this seemingly powerful “god” to show me a sign i had my grandfather, and only male figure, taken from me. On the very next Sunday. Year later when i asked this so called all powerful to help me and give me strength in my falling marriage he almost took my 3 week old baby from me. Doctors made her live, not a god. If there was a god to decide what to do then maybe he should rearrange what he does. Why kill off good little kids? Why not kill the grown and evil? Give would be murders cancer, not a 3 year old. Give a rapist AIDS, not a 10 year old boy who had a live saving surgery. christians rant about how good they are, but no one on this earth can be as good as they say they are. the catholics gave us a pretty good view of that when the priests started raping those boys.
I have strong resentment for the christian god. and i hate how Bugs hides that from his mother, it makes me so angry with him.
I AM JEWISH AND PROUD!!
So i will drive my girls around looking at lights, i will get into the shopping spirit, i will even sing songs, but i will not say i am celebrating a birth.
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