#bestboyfriendever #duckdynasty

I found a Duck Dynasty chocolate bar today. The chocolate bar is just plain blocks. Kinda disappointing. It tastes alright.

Anyways the greatest two days I’ve had in a minute is sadly over.

Oh quick thing. I guess Drummer’s new name is Bugs. I’ll explain later.

Anyways. Again. Bugs just left a little bit ago. I hate to see him go.

But Tuesday he made my life a romance movie.

I had a kinda rough day at work and he had kept saying he had a surprise planed. He asked if we could find a babysitter so I said I’d pick Rat up and take her to my grandmother’s house if he’d get Brat from the bus and bring her over there too. I thought he’d pick me up there. Nope.

Brat came in with a note. Said “you promised” and ran in the other room. The note was this:

I have to go home? Ugh, really? What kind of date can I have at my own house?

Needless to say I was kinda fuming on the way home.

But when I got home this was on the front door:

Ok, that’s cute. Unexpected. I had just changed shoes.

I go in, take off my shoes and look at the table. His cell phone and two notes.

Opened the phone. The last text message I’d sent him. Ok. Can’t press play on that so I take a second to look at the second note and glance at the stairs to see if he’s peaking out. No Bugs. Ok, second note says

So I giggle and go to his home screen. Ugh, I wish he would change that picture, I look like a horse. I open his music player and press play. “I don’t want to miss a thing” starts playing and from behind the kitchen wall come Bugs looking like the cutest, shyest, guy I have ever seen with his hands held together in front of him. He looked just adorable. He came over, took me in his arms and we danced together and talked a little here and there. He held me close and just swayed with me.

I really wish I knew how to dance. He can dance. I can’t. I suck. But this is so sweet. He smells nice. He has such a cute smile. I love to see him smile.

After the song was over he told me to take off my socks and set on the couch.

“I don’t wanna take my socks off.”

He strongly suggested I take my socks off.

I took my socks off. Lol.

He came back into the the room with a hot towel and sat down on the floor in front of me.

“You said you wanted a foot rub”

Lol. I started giggling and laughing. I felt to vulnerable! I he laughed at me a lot. He said I had let my guard down and he liked those times. There is just something about people messing with my feet. It did feel so good though.

After my foot rub he told me to go upstairs.”Is it a bath?” Ya know, because I like to ruin surprises like that.

He hung his head “yes”

I asked if he wanted to join me. He said he’d be up in a minute.

When I got upstairs this was on my bathroom door.

Aw. Oh my Jewish god he has thought of everything.

I get in the bathroom. Start my water and….. no towels. Eh, I’ll get some.

I go to the linen closet, get the towels, turn around and EEP! There Bugs was at the bottom of the stairs glaring up at me.

“I was just getting towels!”

Lol, I got a hot look and a ok and went back to my bath. I lit my $7 candle and turned out the lights and got in and relaxed.

I have no idea what to do right now. I don’t have to wash my hair. I don’t have to shave. Ok, maybe I should. But na, not right now. There are no kids in the house. I just have to relax. Ok. I lean back and just lay there. It felt so nice. I got to just lay that way for a long time. It was wonderful. Then there was a knock on there door. Bugs.
He joined me. It was wonderful. Although with a sexy man naked in your bath it’s hard to keep your hands to yourself. We chatted and played around. Getting closer and more wrapped around each other. I am so good at teasing him. He has such a nice cock. Its hard to keep my hands off of him. Or my mouth. He stood up to get out and I grabbed him. I sucked on his cock until he was begging for my surrender. We moved to the bedroom and I surrendered. I will always surrender to him. I love when he takes me. When I drive him so crazy he comes at like a wild animal and just fucks me. His long, thick shaft going in so deep it’s to the point of blissful pain. It just turns into those extremely steamy scenes from a erotic novel.

After we were both exhausted I headed downstairs and saw this message on the tv.

You can’t read it from the picture but it says, “pick a movie. Whatever you want to watch, no exceptions 🙂

Then he came down and we decided dinner was in order first. I was pretty hungry and I live in a small town where only 3 fast food restaurants are available. I chose McDonald’s.

We went, picked up the food and came back to my house. I picked Sex in the City. He groaned and I showed him Step #6. Lol. He is a wonderful boyfriend. He was asking me questions about the movie and held me super close when I cried at the part where Big wouldn’t get out of the damn car. I always cry at that part. I loved being snuggled so close to him. I loved him cuddling me while I cried. I loved his anger at Big and his amazement at Charlotte’s hidden fierce temper.

Then, before the movie was done we had to go get the girls. The dream was over. Lol.

It was wonderful.

Now on to the name change. We were looking at some of my old pictures on my computer and I was showing him all the pictures of Bugs and Lola Bunny I had. I have always wanted a relationship like them. Well, I guess the fan fiction version of their relationship. Since Lola has been turned into a nutcase on the new “Looney Toon Show” and never had a real chance as Lola from Space Jam, except in a few of the monthly comics that Warner Bros. puts out.

Anyways. This is my favorite picture of the two.

We were chatting and he asked me if I wanted to be Bugs and Lola. Lol. I’m not going to eat carrots though. Unless he calls his cock a carrot, LOL!

oh it’s so late and if you couldn’t tell I need to sleep, good night all!

OH! And Hanukkah Sameach!!!!

My Guide to Emotional Women for Men Who Don’t Pick Up On Things

• When a woman gives a direct statement such as “Clean the fridge” by all means go ahead and clean the fridge.
• When a woman gives a statement with a ADDITIVE  such as “Sure, fine, go ahead and go out, do whatever you want” DO NOT do it.
• Any statements such as the second are a trap. If you go ahead and do it, be aware that pain will follow.
• Never give up on the first “Nothing”
• If something seems wrong with a Woman then something is wrong.
• She will never tell you whats wrong until the third or forth “Nothing”
•  Never say a woman is “mad” when she is crying.
• They are hurt, probably by something you have done.
• Nothing makes a woman look fat.
• If you accuse a woman of being “mad” when she is sad she will get mad. AT YOU
• Learn what pads/tampons she uses. She will make you buy her some as a test. Getting the wrong kind will end in war.
• Everything is a test.
• Nothing is a test.
• Learn her favorite foods.
• She will test you on that.
• Never say that you wish her hair was longer.
• Hair can be cut quickly, but growing it out takes forever. Saying you wish it was longer will only make her think you hate her hair, which will make her hate her hair, until it grows out, which will take forever, until it grows out she will hate you.
• Never try to talk to her while she’s reading.
• Talk to her while you’re reading.
• For every horror/fighting movie you make her watch she will make you watch 3 romance/chick flick movies
• Be ok with that.
• Like everything she posts on Facebook
• Like all her Tweets that were posted to Facebook through Twitter.
• Heart all her Instagram photos.
• Forget all the things you just read.
• Then reread them.
• Remember them forever.
• There will be a test on this.

Seriously, w t f?

Yeah. The shit I went through today. I’m just bout done.

Back story first. I have been seeing Vamp, but like with Repo Man, he hasn’t wanted to be set. Also he cancelled on me today, this other guy, oy, running outta names, um, call him One, because he will only be making one appearance in my blog. Anyway One wanted to get together today so, why not?

So we meet at the mall and walk and talk around for a little. He seems nice. The mall was closing so we started to go somewhere to eat, on the way there he does a turn around and pulls into a gas station. He pulls up to another car and yells hey to the guy at the pump. Well I guess the guy at the pump was kinda pissed at One. He came up to him screaming. I guess One was this guys current girlfriends ex. And he’s saying One is showing naked pictures of his girl to people everywhere, must not be everywhere, I’ve never seen them. But yeah, so yelling is done, One goes to pull away and his friend smashes One’s side mirror. Omg. Other shit happened, but honestly I just don’t care enough to post it all.
But yeah. Worst date ever.

Worse part about all this, I miss Repo Man. Wtf?

See You Later Space Cowboy…

Why do I do that, why do I do that?

Hey, sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve had a busy few days. My daughter is in girl scouts….. so….. yeah. That takes a lot of time and money. Mostly money. Our first meeting they hand me a packet for fall sales. Candy and magazine subscriptions. Oh my god! Really? But in all fairness I’m excited to sale some of this stuff. Yeah. And her school was having spirit week this last week. A lot of school colors going on. Oy.

Also I have had adult time again. A bonfire. Like I told y’all about. I also got to see a old 30’s tractor coming back to life. It had so many weeds and brush grown up around and in it and he just started it right up and started driving it. Well after about an hour and many cuss words, lol.

But, I do my over thinking thing and I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions.

Is he as romantic as I want?
Do I really need as much romance as I’m wanting?
Am I just settling because I don’t want to be alone?
Can I handle the not texting thing?
Will he always put his arm around me like that when we’re around people?
If I became more clingy will it chase him away.
Can I handle someone that busy?
How can I became more busy?

Yeah. I know when there are this many questions it probably isn’t a good thing. But that’s just me. I have questions for everything. I over think everything. But when I talk to him I act completely different. I told him my over thinking thing and it was not a big deal to him. Although nothing is a big deal to him. He told me, and it’s true, he has a “not give a shit attitude”. Which also has me wondering.

I know you’re not supposed to go into a relationship expecting change, but he wants it to change himself. So, I don’t know.

Wow. I just had to go get my daughter’s bike back from a little brat up the road. And yep. When we got there the dad wouldn’t even get off his damn ass. No wonder the little girl was such a brat. Discipline is important people.

Well my creative juices are at a stand still. After that I’m done. Lol

See You Later Space Cowboy…

Not with a call, but with a text.

You know how I said my last post would probably hurt me more than help me?

I don’t really know what it was. But it was a text. I wasn’t even worth a phone call.

Not a break up text. Because we were never together.

But now Repo Man is out of the story.

I cried. I really wanted it to work out. But I couldn’t keep feeling the way I was. And he was planted. But I never really felt like he would go out of his way for me. He liked what we had going on. Of course he did. I couldn’t go one without some kind of blanket. We acted like we were together. Why couldn’t he just say “ok, you’re my girlfriend” and then come over and cuddle? But I think the thing that hurts most is this whole time we were texting he was on Okcupid. I kinda get why he wouldn’t commit now.

So all of what this has taught me is romance is dead.

For me at least.

There are no kisses in the rain.
There are no walks on the beach.
There are no jackets over shoulders in the cold.
There are no fireworks in the first kiss.
There are no flowers.

See You Later Space Cowboy…

Where did it go???

Where did all the romance in the world go??

I’ve been watching a lot of comedy romance movies lately, which being a single woman, is probably the worst thing I could ever do.

And yes, I am still single! I’m beginning to think Repo Man will never commit. Which, yeah, it’s only been a short while, but we’ve been acting like a couple. I thought. I guess not. He was talking about women just up and stopping all communication with him. Well, I think it might of been a little bit him.

Right now I guess we’re just friends with benefits. And I fucking hate that. I don’t want that. At all. And yet it’s what I’m doing. But let me talk about another guy, and Repo Man’s feelings get all hurt. Ya wanna own me like a boyfriend but ya don’t want the title. Not working for me.

And I know this post is probably another that’s going to hurt me rather than help me. But damn it I have feelings. And I just can’t say all this shit to him. Idk he kinda has this my way or high way thing about him. Although he has never said that or anything to the similar.
He really is a good guy. He’s just not my guy. And it’s bugging me.

Back to the romance thing. Where is the giddy infatuation you see in all of these movies?? The needing, the wanting, the thinking of each other until it drives ya crazy. Just not feeling it. Me and Repo Man are comfy together. But I don’t think he’d sing in the rain over me any time soon. Or write a love song. Or show up with flowers any time soon either.

And that is another thing. Another topic we hit on on our date. Past bitches ruining it for future girlfriends. One girl he use to see got sick, he sent her flowers, she quit talking to him the next day. So when I got sick all I got was a “feeling any better?” Two days later. WTF? I love flowers, I even press some, definitely take pictures and flood instagram and Twitter with them, with huge credit and I haven’t got any in omg I don’t know how long. Because past bitches fucked it up. I also enjoy card, stuffed animals won out of claw machines and fairs. Still nothing. Because all the past girlfriends messed it up.

I’m sure everyone has had a thing that a boyfriend/girlfriend won’t do that you enjoy because of their past girlfriends/boyfriends messed up on.

The first like 3 months are supposed to be the wooing months. And I just feel like I’m griping and clawing to hold on. I don’t want to feel like this. I want to feel safe and secure. Not that I’m one in a race of many for something that won’t be there in a few months.

I associate everything with songs. I want to feel like a love song. One of the fast ones that get you excited. Like “love you like a love song”, or some other song that I just don’t have in my head or heart right now. Yeah, I don’t have a song for me and Repo Man. And I’m lost. I’ve always had a song, for everyone. Everything. And there just aren’t any. And that again makes me grip and claw.

Where did the romance go? Do I deserve it? I see people much younger and older get it.

Why not me?

See You Later Space Cowboy…

Monogamous and Polyamorous

might piss some people off. but just remember, everyone has their own views on every single thing in the world and 9 times outta 10 you can not change it.

Just read something on fetlife. it really made me say, out loud “Well thats what you get for fucking other people.” yeah it was mean and most likely needed to go un said. but i said it. i hate guys that are in a mono relationship for ever and then wanna go poly. it’s like, then just break up with her. and dont get me wrong women do it to. but this guy had been married to his wife for 10 years, mono with her the whole time, i’m guessing. i use to know this guy but with all the shit he’s been doing i really dont know. then he wanted a poly relationship, and then got a std right off the bat. 

i kinda find it as a karma thing. if he would have been just with his wife, never would have gotten it.

being mono i don’t like the idea of poly at all. i dont even like the idea of threesomes. if you wanna fuck that girl over there, then obviously she’s got something you really want that i aint giving you, so go ahead, just know i aint gonna be here when you get back. even if you say it’s ok if i fuck that guy over there while ya do it it still aint fine with me. if i wanted that guy over there then i’d be in a relationship with him, not you. 

from what I’ve seen and read and everything in the bdsm world, it you’re not poly then something is wrong with you. and that fucking sucks. i dont want a poly relationship because i just couldn’t handle the guy i’m with giving the love i should be getting to another girl. it just aint gonna happen with me.

I’ve even seen the guy i’m talking about post things like “i love my girlfriend” and i see that and i feel sorry for his wife. how does she feel seeing that shit? stuff like that should be saying “i love my wife”. 

and this whole poly with a dont ask dont tell thing is even worse, you are giving him permission to cheat on you. you just dont want to know the details. AND espesialy if you dont know anything thats going on in the first place. then honey, he was CHEATING on you, there is no such thing as being secretly poly in a relationship. if you find out he has another girl, without you guys talking about it, and he’s like, oh i’m poly, now ya know, it’s just him being a fucking asshole. 

it just pisses me off.