Everybody wants to discuss me, so that must mean I’m disgusting.

Hey everyone! I’m sitting in my bathtub, taken a bath and I thought to myself “since I’m in such a prime spot where absolutely nothing bad could ever happen to my phone, why don’t I take a minute to blog!”

Lol, yep. Its lovely being me.

Now, I started a blog last night, but I scrapped it. It was too hard coming up with a good word that rhymed with right. Ain’t that tight? What? Do you wanna fight…… about it…
See, just wasn’t working for me.

So I still wanna talk about the topic that me and Tiny were discussing last night. I have had and ex friend right some pretty horrible things about me recently and everyone was giving her props and, well nothing really. It made my blog hits skyrocket and stay high every day. So thank you readers!

Anyways,  I started the public part of our fight by posting on my blog all the things she wouldn’t listen to, or dismissed me as bitchy when I would quote unquote “say these things to her face” (see what I did there?) And so we all know reading things hits closer to home than hearing someone say them. And I’m not going to lie, her childish name calling did hurt a tiny bit, but that’s how someone like her handles things going on in their lives.

But back to last night. Somewhere in our 3 and a half or 4 hour conversation Tiny and me were having last night he said that jealousy was what those names about. And he is right. Its no lie I was jealous of her tit size, and……. that’s about it. I would love to keep my ass the same size, my waist a little smaller and bigger tits. But back to the jealousy thing. She is jealous of my freedom, my controllable cash and power to choose how I run my own life. Also how much less I weigh. I am in no mains skinny, and I was being called a Barbie doll. Wow, that ones kinda a complement, with how they’ve made her build more realistic I think she’s really pretty. So I guess I don’t mind that name after all.

But with all the names and sayings I realize I shouldn’t be mad at her. I just mostly feel sorry for her. And I could throw around things of my own, some not even put in previous posts but I’m done with it all.

New topics, I have entered a run! Its going to be really fun! Its next month and it’s Halloween themed through a cemetery. I forget how long it is but I’m ready! What first drew me in was the cute shirt you got for just signing up, but after I got really excited about the whole thing. And my mom and Tiny are going to enter it with me. It also has a costume contest. I really wish Tiny would just wear the race shirt, lol.

Anyways, I really need to wash my hair and shave. YAY! lol.

See You Later Space Cowboy…

Why did it have to end that way?

I’m at work. Cutting keys for some 80 year old man. A large order. 30 keys, from 3 originals. Getting into it, not hearing anything other than the loud screech of the key cutters,

I think i hear someone say “Miss” but i know other co-workers are around.

“Excuse me, Miss!”

Annoyed because i’m only on key 13, turning around, i say “YES! Sir, how may i……” And there he is. When our eyes meet all sound stops, the key cutters seem to turn off, the service bells stop. I look at this man, Not speaking, He doesn’t speak either. He’s just standing there with a bouquets of flowers, Smiling at me,

Still smiling at me, he says “I know you’re busy, now, but i was hoping maybe later”……

And then i woke up. *Sigh* this never happened. it would be wonderful if it ever did. but it was just the dream i had last night. I’ve always wanted to meet someone at work. I always wanted that love at first sight thing.

Even a little romance. I haven’t even gotten so much as a text since 4 today. it’s now 7. lol, it wouldn’t bother me except for the fact of the last text i sent was talking about me being insecure. lol. “im insecure” and then crickets, LOL kinda funny sad to me. Maybe because i’m sad in a unfunny way? I dont know, going to change my phone case now and watch the newest Duck Dynasty. The show needs to be more than half an hour long.

Well, another day without a spank…

Hello all my little stems. hee hee i just made that up, you guys, the people that read this, cherries have stems, lol oh i crack myself up!  

Anyways i went on my date. i gave it a 3 out of 10. i’m sorry Hazard. but i didn’t feel that magical gotta have me longing  that i’ve been looking for. the lust of it. there wasn’t anything really, it kinda sucks. There was no “omg i just can’t take my eyes off you, i gotta have ya” feeling at all. We went bowling as planned, and then out to eat, then just walking around stores. it was boring. Sorry, but it was. I also got no play really. it was too stiff and just like friends in the biggest space of friend zoned hanging out together. i even did all the triggers to tell a guy to touch me, bump into him here, rub on him there. nothing. until i said hey touch me! and then i got a 2 second shoulder arm thing and a 5 second hand hold. i would have liked it to be more planned out, and so far in all my relationships i did the planning, i’m done with planning everything. it is the guys job to wow me just as much mine to wow him, not 70-30. and i didn’t even get a kiss out of it.

Oh *sigh* i haven’t felt a guy truly lusting after me since Morbius. Bad thing was, when i could have him, i didn’t want him. He had really bad breath back then. lol. But now he’s thousands of miles away and there is no chance. 

I guess i just have to wait, and waiting sucks, I need some hard sex damn it.

What am i feeling?

Can some one tell me?

I really dont know.

After Beast sounding like i was the last person in the world he wanted to even talk to even before i told him to come get his stuff i knew, we were not ever going to work out.

It really just leaves me setting just here.

I wanna cut and bleach my hair.

I want to scream.

I want some one to take a hard paddle to my ass so hard it makes me cry.

Because i think that would be the only way i would be able to cry. I dont feel sad. Maybe i had a sad thought, just a thought when i turned on my phone and saw the picture of me and him as my lock screen. I changed it. Feeling gone. Now i just feel like i really want a good beating. No sex. Just the hard hit of a paddle across me, anywhere. Just so i’d be forced to cry. I could listen to a couple of songs, maybe get a few tears out, but it’ll be hard. I’ll probably miss him tomorrow when i’m setting here, but not now. I’m so fucking sick of all of his bullshit. He didn’t even know i was mad and done today and just me talking to him pissed him off. Really?? Who the fuck does that? I was sick of him, he was most defiantly sick of me.

I dont have anyone that i can tell exactly what i’m feeling. my feelings would hurt feelings. if that makes any since.

And again my birthday is gonna suck this year.

PMS WEEK!!!! Or Night.

ok, so here is the deal, ya’ll let me rant on the topics of which i wish to rant and then i swear i will not complain on my next 2 blog posts. yay! lol.

ok, item 1. CC’s life. i’m gonna just throw it out there. Sorry CC, if ya want me to edit, ttm. ok, well her dom, she has to call him master, i wont cap anything because, well, i dont think that highly of him, and dom will be the best he gets called by me, ANYWAYS her dom had had another “slave” behind CC’s back. CC found out and after the lies she contacted the other “slave” well , they tell him they know bout each other, it works for all of a second, he gets bored, and drops the 2nd “slave”. well 2nd wont leave CC alone. Comments on everything, overly “helpful”. and the “help” is unwanted. she told CC to tell ALL of her fb friends all her business and then beg for help. Also offering her mom’s house with out even asking her mom. 2nd is 22, young, and extremely stupid. plus the girl needs to quit thinking she’s all that. i dont know how she got guys to do anything with her. i’ve seen her. dog face is too easy a term.

 

item 2. electric wheel chairs in stores. i get so sick of people who dont need to use them, using them. i hate seeing people walk in from half across the parking lot, get on one then when ever they wanna browse around just getting up and walking up and down a isle just to set back down in it and ride to the next isle then get right back up. i’m sorry but it pisses me off. where i work we have four. and i refuse to wait on anyone after i’ve seen them riding one then get up and walk around. sorry but your lazy ass can just go find it ya own damn self. we also have a woman that works same place i do that uses one every so often. from her waist up she’s maybe a small large in size, but from there down she probably wears size 40 pants. i’ve seen that bitch walk all through the store, and every so often she uses one. “because she’s just too tired” to walk from the front door to the back room. bitch if ya’d walk a little bit more, and lay off the cupcakes (she brings maybe 3 a day to work) your fat ass might lose some weight. ya thinks?

 

item 3. stupid fucking dollar store razors. i’ve cut my legs to hell with them, not even gonna talk bout the nana. i can’t afford the good kind, but damn, i mean come on. at least you could curve the blade a little bit more. and i get hacked up why? for one fucking day a week. so not worth it. not to me.

 

item 4 cuts, i have a cut on the inside of my mouth and i have no fucking clue how to help it. it rubs on my dentures all day, and hurts like hell when i move my mouth. i take my teeth out of a night but i’m not going to work like that. so it hurts, i can’t put a&e on it or anything. it sucks.

 

wow, his late is early to me. it’s midnight, he just showed up, and i was thinking maybe 3 if not later.

well…..

To blog or not to blog…. THAT is the question

Um, TO BLOG! Berp. lol hello hello this is the Cherries with the beastly attitude coming your from fabulous…… ok, what i live is nice, really nice but wouldn’t call it fabulous. lol. well. Just call me lady of the river because it called us back again today. went for a walk down town and we saw 3 cute little places, all closed. yeah i really live in the Mayberry kinda town where it all closes on Sunday. We got a few more shells today, and i’m keeping strong with my two times, two skips as far as skipping rocks go.

 

Well, as…… idk who all really reads this, but you who do, would like to know me and the Beast had a huge fight. resulted in us splitting up for like…… all of 5 hours. We screamed, cried, and just had an all in all throw down. Well he called off work and headed over here. we fought as best we could with the girls around, so our mean words were “Do you want a s’more?!?!?!?” and a answer as good as “YES! I would LOVE a s’more!!” well, after they went to bed we talked about our needs and wants. and “ground rules” he only had one, i had….a few. Alone time, like one day a week for him, and me, more likes and im’s and suches. so, i’ll give him…… Friday, then he better shower me on Saturday, lol if this doesn’t work out now, idk when it will.

Why do they all come out of the wood work when i’m taken? i had taken Beast off my facebook relationship status yesterday. and i’ve had 2 guys come after me and tell me how they’ve always regretted there not being an “us”. i have no clue why this happens. when i’m single no one wants me. when i finally get a boyfriend, everyone wants me. WTF????? Why? IDK?? lol. I guess Beast better make me a taken woman, cuz ya know, it aint official till it’s on facebook, lol.

So pretty…..

took the girls on a bike ride today and we went to the park, and our park is huge, with a river running along side of it. we parked our bikes and played in the river. the river is so clear and clean you can see right to the bottom. and so many shells. we collected some and we’re going to get a big jar and every time we go we’re going to collect more and fill it.

i wish i would have brought my phone. there were two huge rocks and the girls were setting on them. they looked like little mermaids. it was fun, but my legs are about ready to fall off, lol. good thing i said we’d do this only every Saturday, lol.

oh, i broke up with Beast, we had a bad morning.

my feelings are as follows;

my legs hurt

i want a shower

need to wash my hair.

why aren’t i crying?

i guess i have to round up all his stuff.

gonna miss him

why is the upstairs so hot?

i’m gonna miss that fan

 

see, i know he doesn’t care, but the bad thing is i don’t crushed. i’ve been after him since middle school. i was his first almost everything.

 

back to happy. lol

Brat came in and got a shower, now Rat is in the bath, playing with her ducks, lol. she’ll be in there forever.

I want a shower…..

Ya’ know, kinda tierd of the internet neglect….

Or the neglect everywhere else. HE told me to make a tumbler. so i did. He liked everything at first. even riposted some stuff. But, now, i posted some stuff for him days ago. and nothing, not even a like.

 

You see, we only see each other one day a week, my phone is off for a couple of weeks, and the internet is all we have. and these little 15 minute talks we have, if i’m lucky, every day, are not cutting it for my emotional needs.

 

As all of you know we were like splitsville a couple days ago, and while he is in town, it’s ok, i would like to stay out of the house or out of the bedroom for that matter, a little more than we do. But he’s lazy. and i’m sorry, but i dont get enough love from him in one day to last me a week. and i know he thinks he can slack off on everything else. it’s just not working.

 

I check everything, facebook, twitter, tumbler, yahoo IM, instagram, and wordpress when i wake up every morning, and nothing at all from him in the 2 hours he was online this morning. the other morning he was on for a hour the same time i was and did we talk? no, i got a hi/bye going to work im right at the end of it, and this was a öh shit told her i’d send her one” last minute thought.

 

i am sick of this. i know he SAYS he doesn’t like online shit, but he is on EVERYTHING! if he can hare pictures on tumbler than he can take a minute to see the shit i tag him in and at least hit that stupid little like button.

 

Oh and lets get started on facebook. SO FUCKING SICK of him having time to comment and respond to EVERYONE ELSE BUT me, he down right ignores the shit i comment and if some one else makes a comment on there he answers them. or he shares pictures but never even looks at the pictures i post, in general or on his wall. He also had time to update his status but did i get a facebook im saying “love you” no i fucking didn’t.

 

and i have brought this up to him, multable times, and it’s the same old shit “i’ll work on it.” Well i have news for you buddy, we are on very thin ice, and every time i make an effort for you, and you dont even show you give a shit is taking CHUNKS out of that ice.

 

and my blogs, about oh 6 posts ago he liked it w both screen names he has, since then he hasn’t even read them. pisses me off so fucking bad. omg, he has to click an extra website, omg it’s so bad, omg. reading, omg you’re going to die!

 

A rose will wilt if you do not water it.

I have things I need to be doing around the house. But I just can’t seem to get the motivation to any of it. It seems like it’s an ongoing battle and my house seems to be winning.

I don’t have friends to take my mind off anything. Sir doesn’t count. He’s one of the things I need to get off my mind. Clingy sucks. He has friends and brothers. Other people to be around with. I have a 2year-old and a 8year-old. Lol love them with all my heart but conversations with them suck. Especially with the 2 year-old.

No phone right now to reach out to people. And people ignore yahoo 90% of the time.

*sigh* I’m just in a funk right now. Sir is having a better day and I can’t be a part of it. Doesn’t seem fair that I got Sir So Grumpy and other people get Sir So Ok. I want Sir So Happy. Lol.

The 2 year old is going in my closet and shutting the door. It makes me do that whole head shaking thing.

I went to play hair dresser today at my grandmother’s house today. I like doing hair but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to. I went through school for it. Did good there. Graduated with honors. But I just couldn’t get into a job of it here. I was always the black sheep in hair salons. I’m the black sheep anywhere. Guess that’s why I don’t have friends, lol.

Well this blog is cheerful.

See You Later Space Cowboy…

Into the fire, i throw myself.

God some days that Sir of mine makes me want to scream, hit, bite, yell, etc. etc. etc. Oy. We had total drama island today.

I’m better now. and he’s sleeping, better be at least, or he’s ignoring my IMs, that would be very stupid of him. He’s asleep. Better be.

But today was anything other than lovey. and on his birthday too…… that i feel like shit about. He had been putting off helping me move a couple of things for a week. today was the day he said it would happen. was spose to pick him up after work, move, then fuck. simple. well he had a explosion of shit happen today, shitty night at work,  his moms house fell apart and he hadn’t slept at all. in like 2 days. he canceled on me. i was pissed. i love his mom, i feel bad for acting up on her part of it, her house is important, not just to them, but me, she works hard, all the time, she deserves nice things. and her house fucking up made me pissed at the house. lol. it did. but i was pissed at Sir because he had held off and then canceled, nothing to do with his mom needing him, i was just pissed he put it off. and it would have been Wednesday of next week before Sir would be back in town.

idk, it just made me think of all the times before there was an “us”. i use to beg abd beg him to see me. and he’d promise and then cancel. every single time, it was weeks before we finally met again. we had secretly dated back in middle school. went out once. then once after high school, then now.

i know he loves me, even on his darkest days he says it. not as much as i’d like to hear, but even when he is a asshole of all assholes i get “i love you to death though”.

Today he came into work, we had a hissy fit fight. he stormed off, i cried. i got over it. i had to drop off his present. he felt like shit about earlier, so did i. he helped me movea couple of the things that needed it. and i wanted him to go shopping with us, but i wanted to know if he wanted to. we had had yet another fight today and i was feeling zero love from him. and he didn’t care. again i know he loves me. we work 82% of the time. but today we just didn’t. i took him home, and i know he feels like shit. i do too.

But i was thinking on us today. I love him, in a way i haven’t felt love in a long time. for the last 9 years i haven’t really loved anyone i was with. until now.  I know i’m too clingy.

Sir, this is the part that i need to hear feedback from you on.

I feel like if i wasn’t as clingy as i am then he would leave and never come back.  like he use to. but now i feel like i’m hanging on too tight, and driving him away. i need to know what to do.